Sexless Marriage

Needed information about how to make things better...

Maureen McGrath: It's been said if you never want to have sex again, get married. Sex is one of the most contentious issues in marriage today, second only to finances. There are many married couples that have not had sex for months, even years, and that's okay as long as they're okay with it and happily married. The problem arises when one person in the relationship wants sex and the other doesn't. According to a national newspaper survey of approximately 10,000 respondents, mostly married men, 75% were satisfied in their relationship but more than 50% were dissatisfied with their sex lives. We're having sex, don't get me wrong, we're just having sex at the wrong time and with the wrong people, I'll get to that later.

We're having sex before we get married, 10 years on average, so we are effectively in a long term relationship and potentially quite sexually bored before we even mess up the marital bed. That has its consequences. Most brides today do not have sex on their wedding nights, and 50% of men would not have married their spouse had they known their marriage was going to be sexless. So, everybody wants to know, just how much sex are married people having, whether they are in heterosexual relationships or same sex unions, you all want to know what's going on at the Jones'? Well not much.

Only about 7% of married couples set the sheets ablaze. Most married couples have sex a little more than once a week for the first decade of their marriage, it decreases after that. So they have sex about 58 times a year, and 20% of marriages meet the criteria as a sexless marriage. That, defined by the experts, is sex less than 10 times a year. So why aren't we having sex in our marriages? Well, there's a little known chemical in the brain conveniently called PEA, or PEA. It's responsible for the elation, the excitement and the euphoria that you feel when you meet somebody that you are sexually interested in.

It's a fantastic feeling, this chemical is scourging through your blood vessels, you are so happy, that's how powerful this little chemical is. What happens after two years, that chemical diminishes as does sexual frequency. That's just about the time you might get married or might have conflict in your relationship and that is why communication is key to great sex. There's another reason we're not having sex in our relationships, that has to do with the sex education that we provide. I'd like to share a story about myself, when I was a teenager my mother came racing into my bedroom and she said, “Maureen, please tell me you have not allowed a boy to french kiss you!” She was feeling terrible that this sex education came a bit late, I was feeling horrifically guilty as an Irish catholic girl that I'd french kissed a number of boys by that stage.

We teach girls and women that sex is dirty and sex is bad or it's overrated. We say, you're just going to get a sexually transmitted infection anyway, or you might get pregnant! This whole fear based thing frightens women from enjoying sex and we never talk about pleasure with girls and women, or orgasm. In fact, some women say orgasm is not important and that the journey is just as good as the destination. I disagree. Of course. I'm the one who french kissed all the boys as an Irish catholic girl. It's like getting on a train with your lover, and you are going to the most pleasurable place on the planet. You are so excited, you're getting lubed up with all the free drinks they're giving you, this is amazing. Just before you reach your destination, he gets off and you don't. You get my point.

Now, the sex education we have for boys and men, that's entirely different. It's a global program, it's free, it's accessible to everybody and it's known as internet pornography. Fantastic. It does nothing to teach men and boys about intimacy which is really important to men and boys, or how to make love to anybody, also we have a paucity of information about sexual health for our LGBTQI community and we need to add to that. Now marriage can rapidly go from holy matrimony to holy hell with the finances, the kids, the houses, the illness. You may have signed up for sickness and health but that was long before you'd ever witnessed a man cold, and how about that richer or poorer thing? Ladies we're going to have to start going for richer.

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Most women today are working inside and outside of the home. We're doing the lion share of the housework because according to research, men don't feel they're that good at it. We're bridging the gap between growing children and aging parents. We're exhausted doing it all and never doing it, and when we are doing it, we're checking our smartphones. 10% of people check their smartphones during sex. 35%immediately afterward. We are connected to the internet. We are connected to the internet and disconnected from our would be lovers. Maybe this is the reason that the most common sex position for married couples is doggy style. No, no, no. It's not what you're thinking. Get your minds out of the gutter.

This is the one where he's on all fours and begs and she plays dead. I have a clinical practice where I see patients that have sexual disfunction and there are two questions that I ask everybody. The first one is, are you sexually active? That's obvious. When I ask women they never say yes or no. Well, they never say yes. But they never say yes or no. They say; sometimes, sort of, I'm not sure, he is or they say “I'm married.” I say well that means no to me. They say yes you're right, it is no. Most men complain that women never initiate sex. The reason for this is because once again the sex education we provide to women, women falsely believe that female sexual interest, desire, precedes sexual activity when in actuality, it is sexual activity that prompts sexual interest and desire. Sexual arousal emerges as a result of sexual activity.

So, you guys I know, intimacy is important to you. The most important question that reflects this that I receive from you is, “How much masturbation is too much masturbation?” So I just say as long as you can go to work, you should be fine. Then I realize, that that's perhaps all that you're doing at work. So I know intimacy is important, you want to come home and you want to make love to your wife if you're in a heterosexual relationship, so after a long and quite possibly very hard day, you come home to a bit of chaos perhaps, you've just got sex on the mind and she says, “Did you remember the milk?” You're like darn, the milk! I forgot the milk. Don't beat yourselves up about it, if not for the milk we have Facebook, hormones, I'm feeling a little tired tonight, my stomachs sticking out I'm feeling kind of fat, can't do it tonight, didn't we have sex last month? You're like, that was actually last year. You don't get it. Literally, you don't get it.

You're like she's amazing, she works in and outside of the home, she does a great job with the kids, she volunteers, she even has time for girls nights out. So, I brought a friend home after one such girls night out. As we approached her house, drove up she looked up to her bedroom window, saw that the lights were on and she said, “Donny's waiting up for me, do me a favor, drive around the block a few times until the light goes out” I said listen, “You get in there and make love to your husband before somebody else does” Because that is one thing that will increase a woman's sexual desire, when someone else wants her man. Still unconvinced she said, “I decided to extol the health and beauty benefits that sex has for a woman, a youthful glow, better sleep, wrinkle free skin. Keep driving” She said.

There is a device that will increase anybody's sexual desire and that happens to be the Mercedes Benz 4MATIC convertible SL and it comes in 64 colors. If that doesn't do it, the desire to have a baby will rev up any woman's sex drive. The problem is, having that baby is likely to kill it along with any marital eroticism a couple may have had. A lot of people believe that motherhood and being sexual is incongruousness. John, John followed me on LinkedIn for two years before he mustered up the courage to make an appointment about his sexless marriage. He'd been married for seven years and they had never consummated the relationship. Their parents were pressuring them to have parents because they wanted grandchildren. When they came into my clinical practice, the second question that I ask everybody that enters my clinical practice most unfortunately is, “Have you ever experienced sexual abuse or unwanted sexual advances as a child?”

This was the first time this gentle man had learned that his wife had experienced sexual abuse as a six year old at the hands of her best friend's father. She thought sex was dirty, she hated sex, we need a worldwide moratorium on ending sexual violence on our children, boys and girls, because it happens to both. Healing from sexual abuse takes a lifetime. Ella had lived a lifetime. A widow, she said she wasn't sexually active but she hoped to be. I thought, fantastic! Somebody is going to have sex here, but she said, “The problem Maureen is that these old guys can't get it up anymore” I said well Ella, you might have to go for a younger guy. She said, “What's younger when you're 84? 70?” Yes some of you are saying.

The hard truth is that men in their 30s and 40s may experience erectile dysfunction. Ella is going to have to go for a millennial. So you're all probably thinking, “What's the big deal, why treat my erectile dysfunction?” Well I liken the penis to a plane, if a pilot can't get the plane up in the air, and keep the plane in the air for the entire trip, there's probably a problem with the engine. So if you can't get your penis up and keep it up for the entire sexual experience, there's likely a problem with your engine. That's your heart. Erectile dysfunction is the canary in the coal mine and it may signify cardiovascular disease. It may also indicate diabetes. These two medical conditions in addition to low testosterone, stress, substance use and abuse, excessive alcohol consumption, unresolved conflict, financial issues, all of those may contribute to low sexual desire and you may end up in a sexless marriage.

George presented to my clinical practice at age 40, he decided to settle down. He was marrying a beautiful and accomplished woman in a few months. There's only one problem, George was gay. George could not bear to tell his family that he was gay because he felt it would have shamed the entire family. I said, “George, you're going to end up in a sexless marriage!” He said, “Tell me something I don't know!” George said to me his plan was this, “Well, when my parents die I'm then going to divorce this woman and I'm going to marry the man that I love” And I said, “George, you are not thinking straight.” Sex is the barometer of the state of affairs in a marriage. People who live in sexless marriages report feeling frustrated, unloved, undesirable, unattractive and the worst of all, lonely.

Loneliness has been shown to increase vascular resistance and elevate blood pressure and lead to an early death. You're more likely to die from loneliness than you are from obesity or excessive alcohol consumption. When I educate women and I say, “If you're not having sex with your husband, someone else may” They get upset and they say that I'm blaming women for men's bad behavior when in actuality I'm doing a community service. You see, men in sexless marriages cheat to remain in that marriage in general. Women cheat to leave a sexless marriage. Women cheat too, nobody ever thinks we do but we're just sneakier about it, we just don't get caught or socialize very differently, this is one thing we have on you guys. Women cheat with other men and women cheat with other women.

Technology has made cheating accessible for everybody, from the politician to the stay at home parent, that quick swipe right can lead to an online passionate love affair. From texting to sexting to secret phone conversations. The more two people communicate online, the more likely an in-person encounter will occur, but you can always blame your genes. The gene DN4N has been isolated in cheaters and the sexless marriage, just the environment to turn on that gene. It's based on a system of pleasure and reward. The stakes are high, the rewards substantial. It is the perfect cocktail to turn that love drug back on, PEA and the cycle begins again. Historically, marriage was not based on mutual love but rather it was an institution to acquire of all things in laws, property and physical labor. At the turn of the 20th century, in America, egalitarian ideals and the emerging Hollywood movie industry burdened marriages with promising romantic love forever.

Now we're living forever, fantastic, congratulations, you get to have sex with the same person for the rest of your life. The second most common question that I hear from patients is, "When does sex end?" Well a 44 year old asked me, he said, " When does sex end Maureen, 65?" I answered him this way, a 22 year old asked me, "When does sex end Maureen, 35?" Everybody's older until you get there. I'm here to tell you that sex never ends. If you're healthy, you can have a great sex life well into your 80s and 90s. Sex is good for you, sex is healthy, yet sex is shrouded in shame. In the ancient aristocracies, the wealthy men had courtesans for pleasure and concubines for quick sex. The way we're going, computers will be our concubines, internet pornography our mistress of the day. Technology is fast replacing human connection at high speed.

So how do you rev up the sexless marriage?

  • Sex is about blood flow, sexercise. Every day you want to have a daily workout. It increases your agility, your stamina, women will experience more sexual sensation when blood is flowing to the genitalia. It also helps to treat erectile dysfunction.
  • Also get help for any of the sexual dysfunctions you may have [& for men],  vaginal dryness, it's an issue that happens to women who are on the oral contraceptive pill, who are breastfeeding, perimenopausal, postmenopausal and there are treatments for you.
  • Pay more attention to your spouse than you do your smartphone.
  • Spend more time in your bedrooms than you do your boardrooms or your bedrooms are going to become bored rooms.
  • Deal with your marital issues.
  • Go to sleep in the same bed at the same time and don't bring anything or anyone into your marriage except for a great sex toy and a darn good sex therapist.
  • You must establish guidelines that govern those moments when you are struck by someone's attractiveness outside of your marriage, but don't think for a second that you have to have sex with the same person for the rest of your life. That's not what I mean. In your mind, that is. Fantasy is key. Your brain is your largest sex organ, and one more thing.
  • I would like to leave you all off with a bang. Settle all marital arguments in the bedroom, naked.

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Let’s Talk Vaginas With Cindy Barshop, Dr. Carolyn Delucia, MD, FACOG, & Olivia


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Transcript...

Olivia: Are we good? Are we going? Hey guys! Olivia here with another episode of Distractify Live or Daily Dose of Useful Distraction. I'm here with Cindy Barshop who you might recognize from the Real Housewives of New York City, but we're here for an entirely different reason. She's the founder of VSPOT Medispa. Did I get that right?

Cindy Barshop: Correct.

Olivia: VSPOT Medispa.

Cindy Barshop: The fountain of youth for your vagina.

Olivia: The fountain of youth for your vagina. We're here to talk about vaginas. Woo!

Cindy Barshop: Woo hoo!

Olivia: I guess why did you start this?

Cindy Barshop: I started it because of my own personal problem and I really believe in sexuality and feeling good about yourself. This whole place is, sorry men, not for you, but it's about women-

Olivia: Sorry, Michael.

Cindy Barshop: And feeling good about yourself, having orgasms just, like a man does. As you get older, and I'm not talking that much older. Not my age older, but like 35 older. Lubrication, tightening. If you had a baby, it gets a little smaller. Friction. It's all about the women enjoying sex more, which is good for you guys, too, because then we want it more.

Olivia: Women watching and men that are watching, please ask your questions, like and share this video on Facebook. We want everyone to get their questions out there about sexual health, about vaginal rejuvenation, and then we have a little fun thing that we did today that we could talk about.

Cindy Barshop: Okay, good.


Olivia: First of all, let me just say why are vaginas and sex such a taboo subject to talk about and why are you okay with talking about it?

Cindy Barshop: I'm here to make sure other women talk about that because the more we talk about it, the more we could get it out there for everybody. It's not a taboo subject. Feeling good about yourself? That should not be taboo. And taking care of yourself right now by doing the femilift and all these different treatments, you're making yourself feel good and healthy. It's like doing a million kegels. How many years have they talked about kegels? Even my grandmother-

Olivia: My mom taught me about kegeling when I was, like, 15.

Cindy Barshop: The whole world doesn't know how to kegel, but now-

Olivia: Kegeling is important.

Cindy Barshop: Kegeling's important. Okay, but you could do one million kegels in one minute with this treatment. Oo, ding.

Olivia: Oops. You mentioned the femilift.

Cindy Barshop: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Olivia: You do this at the Medispa.

Cindy Barshop: Yes.

Olivia: Tell everyone what the femilift is.

Cindy Barshop: Basically, what I was talking about before is it's actually regenerating tissue to make it healthy inside your body. It's like doing the 50 million kegels in five minutes. If you have any problem with dryness, which you may say, "Oh, I'm fine," but you could be better. If there's anything with, "Oops, I peed in my pants because I laughed so much."

Olivia: It happens.

Cindy Barshop: Which is very normal. And if you want to get a little more friction when you're in the bedroom, you come in. No pain, no downtime, no risk.

Olivia: Really nice. Then, something that we both shared in today.

Cindy Barshop: [crosstalk 00:02:43] I gave you what?

Olivia: I received an orgasm today, and so did you.

Cindy Barshop: Yes, I did. We did it together.

Olivia: Yeah, we did it together. If you go to Distractify Snapchat, I documented my entire experience and Cindy's experience with the O Shot. Talk about what the O Shot is.

Cindy Barshop: Okay. A lot of times women orgasm, but it takes a long time to orgasm or none of us orgasm while we're having sex. We have to kind of a little rubbing here and there. With this, it allows you to orgasm quickly, but not too quickly, and allows you to kind of intensify it, and then there's some women who really don't have great orgasms. Basically, what we're doing is we're taking your own blood, platelet rich plasma.

Olivia: Right here.

Cindy Barshop: How come I didn't get a bandaid?

Olivia: You must've [crosstalk 00:03:26].

Cindy Barshop: Anyway, straight from there. It's injected into the hood, which we learned today.

Olivia: The hood.

Cindy Barshop: And the g-spot, and it actually pushes it out. It's all good.

Olivia: There's no pain involved, which I experienced today. I thought it was important to get the shot myself to talk about it and make sure that everyone knows it's not a lie. There's no pain involved. I felt nothing. I felt pressure, but normal pressure.

Cindy Barshop: You know I had no pain.

Olivia: Yeah.

Cindy Barshop: I have the world renowned gynecologist, Dr. Caroline Delucia.

Olivia: Okay.

Cindy Barshop: She is a specialist in women's sexual health. Show your face, please.

Olivia: Come in here, say hi to everyone.

Cindy Barshop: Hi. She just did the [crosstalk 00:04:04].

Dr. Delucia: Hi.

Cindy Barshop: She did it with us.

Olivia: She's been really busy today with our vaginas.

Cindy Barshop: And everybody else's.

Olivia: Thank you.

Dr. Delucia: My pleasure.

Olivia: If you have any questions, make sure to ask, ladies, about VSPOT, about the O Shot. There's probably a lot of frequently asked questions that you get all the time.

Cindy Barshop: Yeah, there's tons of them. One, does it hurt, or am I going to be orgasming when I'm walking? No, you're not. Is it healthy, is there any downside, or any risk? There's no risk. You're using your own blood, but I will tell you this. Make sure you go to a gynecologist to get it done who's been certified by Dr. Delucia because she trains everybody. It makes a difference. You're not going to go to a, I don't know, any doctor club. This is what I get sometimes. Can I say this?

Olivia: Yeah.

Cindy Barshop: How much is it? Really? How much is it? We're talking about the best in the world.

Olivia: The best ever. How much is it?

Cindy Barshop: Too much for you, then. For the O Shot, it's 2500.

Olivia: It's totally worth it. I already love it. I already love it, so I'm gonna keep everyone posted and tell everyone what I think of my experience with the O Shot.

Cindy Barshop: Good, you should.

Olivia: I guess what stages of life do you see women in here?

Dr. Delucia: All stages.

Olivia: All stages?

Dr. Delucia: Absolutely. Someone young like yourself who just wants good to be better, and there's no harm in that. Really it just magnifies the pleasure that you can derive from [crosstalk 00:05:30].

Cindy Barshop: A lot of moms.

Dr. Delucia: A lot of moms.

Cindy Barshop: Lots of moms. That's a big thing. Mostly it's either your age who like the better sex, unless there's a little problem and they don't lubricate enough.

Olivia: Yeah.

Cindy Barshop: Well, not even looking for more. Increased desire increases relationships, I think. You have no choice

Olivia: I feel like men are probably a really big fan of this, as well.

Cindy Barshop: Of course.

Olivia: It helps relationships.

Cindy Barshop: The pleasure. Wait a minute-

Dr. Delucia: Exactly.

Cindy Barshop: Think about taking the pill. Every guy out there, you should buy your girlfriend an orgasm in a box for the holidays. You know why?

Olivia: I received an orgasm today and I know a lot of men would probably like it if their women also experienced an orgasm.

Cindy Barshop: It takes the pressure off.

Olivia: It's a lot less pressure.

Cindy Barshop: A lot less work. It feels better for the woman.

Olivia: You guys, ask your questions about vaginas. We're here to talk about vaginas. How many times can I say vagina in one video?

Cindy Barshop: Never enough.

Olivia: Please like and share this if you're interested in vaginas or if you're interested in what VSPOT is doing. How can people find VSPOT/-

Cindy Barshop: They can just go online. VSPOT Medi, M-E-D-I, Spa, S-P-A, or call, or call!

Olivia: Call.

Cindy Barshop: Call 1-800. Wait, I don't even know. 408-VSPOT. That's it?

Olivia: Oh, I have it. Here.

Cindy Barshop: Oh right.

Olivia: We'll put it on the comments section below with the website, since no one can remember a random phone number. I do want to say I don't want women to come here because they feel like they are not good enough in bed or this is their problem.

Cindy Barshop: Thank you for bringing it up. It's about empowering women. It's about empowering women to take control of your life and your sexuality to make sure you feel good. There's no reason. How many times, let's be honest, we're like, "Oh, you're great." That's the truth. How many times ... Have you ever done it, said, "You're great,"?

Olivia: Yeah.

Cindy Barshop: No, everybody's gonna be great. But then, there's also-

Olivia: Everyone's so great.

Cindy Barshop: I know, but then everyone's gonna be good. It's gonna be like, "Oh." No, no. The other thing is we really do help women, especially moms who've gone through the child birth. Nothing bounces back. This is simple, it's painless, it's not surgery. This technology has caught up right now. We don't have to kegel anymore. I'm not saying don't exercise, but take care of something that's so important in your life.

Dr. Delucia: Absolutely.

Olivia: I'm kegeling right now.

Cindy Barshop: You don't have to kegel anymore.

Olivia: Well, I am, just-

Dr. Delucia: Just because it's fun because it feels really good right now.

Olivia: Can you tell? Random question. I'm comparing my vagina, the surgery ... Not the surgery, the procedure that I just did, like I'm a vampire and I just sucked my blood into my vagina.

Dr. Delucia: Yes.

Olivia: That's kind of ... I'm trying to put it into non medical terms for people.

Dr. Delucia: The vampire vagina.

Olivia: The vampire vagina.

Cindy Barshop: The guy who started it, right? With the vampire facial. It's the same idea.

Dr. Delucia: That's right, Dr. Charles Runels. Yeah.

Cindy Barshop: You're taking your own blood and you're putting it in your vagina.

Dr. Delucia: Yes.

Cindy Barshop: I like that, the VSPOT Vampire Vagina.

Olivia: Vampire Vagina. What kind of testimonials have you heard from women who have come in and gotten either the femilift, or the O spot?

Cindy Barshop: Can I say [inaudible 00:08:30]?

Dr. Delucia: Please.

Cindy Barshop: I have to tell you, this is one of the best businesses I've ever been in because it makes me feel good when they come back and they basically say, "You changed my life." If you can't have sex, and you're not lubricated enough, and you're not orgasming, and now you are, think about it. It really, really makes you feel good.

Dr. Delucia: Absolutely. The whole thing about these procedures is that it's away of women being able to voice their desires in their own female sexual health to improve their participation in intimacy. I think that we all should enjoy it, and we shouldn't have to fake it, and we should be able to really feel fantastic. When that happens, everyone's happier in that moment.

Olivia: Yes.

Cindy Barshop: I'll say one thing.

Olivia: Yeah, what?

Cindy Barshop: I did it, right, for incontinence because I used to pee a little in my pants.

Olivia: She pees, she pees.

Cindy Barshop: Think about this. Just think about a scenario. I couldn't wear a skirt when I went out, I couldn't wear silk because, oops, how embarrassing is that. When I worked out, I had to wear a pad.

Olivia: I almost told a really embarrassing story of my mom's just now, but I'm gonna keep it locked, but it involved peeing. [crosstalk 00:09:38]

Cindy Barshop: As you get older, peeing doesn't seem like the same thing. After you have a baby-

Olivia: Michael, stop.

Cindy Barshop: When you have parents who are older, all you do is talk about what comes out of the body.

Olivia: It's always, it's always.

Cindy Barshop: Thank god we're only on the pee level.

Olivia: Reminder, we're at VSPOT Medispa. I've along with Cindy, the founder, just got the O Shot and I've had five orgasms just sitting here. Just kidding, but it is national chocolate chip cookie day and I might eat a cookie and, whoop, there it goes. Okay.

Cindy Barshop: Who's going to be eating the cookie? Where are you gonna put the cookie? I didn't mean it ... I did mean it like that.

Olivia: In my vagina. Okay. Will there ever be a P Shot for men?

Dr. Delucia: There is a P Shot for men.

Olivia: Michael!

Dr. Delucia: It's called the Priapus Shot and it works miraculously. Again, we draw blood, we spin it down, we take the platelet rich plasma, and we inject it directly into the penis, painlessly at that.

Olivia: Painlessly.

Dr. Delucia: Once again, it works on erectile tissue. It's for magnifying erections, making them stronger, better, more durable, things like that. They can help men with premature ejaculation and just the effectiveness of their erection.

Olivia: This is amazing.

Dr. Delucia: It's fantastic.

Olivia: If anyone has any questions for these professionals or just [inaudible 00:10:58] now, I'd be happy to answer from a personal perspective. If not, we have rapid fire coming on.

Cindy Barshop: What's rapid fire?

Olivia: Rapid fire is my favorite part, and I think everyone's favorite part. Don't take this too serious, okay? Let's have fun.

Cindy Barshop: Okay, go.

Olivia: We're gonna have fun. Okay. You can both answer, whatever. Favorite sex position?

Cindy Barshop: 69.

Olivia: 69?

Dr. Delucia: Mine?

Olivia: Yes.

Dr. Delucia: Probably me on top.

Olivia: You on top? Woo! Yes, queens. I like it from behind. Your least favorite sex position?

Cindy Barshop: Blow jobs. That's embarrassing.

Dr. Delucia: Is that a sex position?

Olivia: I-

Cindy Barshop: I don't know. I was just thinking about sex, what comes to my head first. That's what came to it.

Olivia: Blow jobs. She doesn't like them.

Cindy Barshop: I'm not into.

Olivia: If they had the P Shot maybe, though.

Cindy Barshop: Yeah.

Olivia: Maybe then. Least favorite, okay we did that. Favorite type of vibrator or do you like vibrators?

Cindy Barshop: I'm beginning to love vibrators.

Olivia: Yeah?

Cindy Barshop: I have [inaudible 00:11:57]. Honestly, [inaudible 00:12:01]. It looks like the [inaudible 00:12:02]. I wish I had it.

Olivia: Where is it?

Cindy Barshop: It's in the other room.

Olivia: Okay.

Cindy Barshop: Wait, this is the coolest thing. We actually had this vibrator [inaudible 00:12:11]. It's to help with urinary incontinence, but it also has a rabbit on it. Then, it has this micro current. I'm telling you, I orgasm internally with it.

Olivia: Really?

Cindy Barshop: I'll give you one.

Olivia: I'll take one. I want to [inaudible 00:12:24].

Dr. Delucia: I took one.

Olivia: Woo! Best piece of advice for women struggling to orgasm besides getting-

Cindy Barshop: Besides getting the shot? I would say kegel, use a lot of vibrators, and know where your spot is.

Dr. Delucia: Yeah, learn your own body. I think that's the biggest thing is don't be shy in exploring and experimenting. I think that women need to be comfortable to do that. Once they figure that out, they can guide their partner in doing the same.

Olivia: Yes.

Cindy Barshop: Let's not make a joke of it. I don't believe in the whole mirror thing, look in a mirror and all that. I don't believe in that.

Dr. Delucia: Oh no.

Olivia: I've never done that.

Cindy Barshop: Okay, good.

Olivia: That's not ... yeah. Estimate how many orgasms have you faked in your lifetime.

Cindy Barshop: Oh, god. I mean, I can't count it.

Olivia: Like, I can't. It's so many.

Cindy Barshop: No, I've pretty much faked it with everybody I've been with at one point.

Olivia: Could you win an Emmy for your-

Cindy Barshop: No.

Olivia: Can you fake one right now?

Dr. Delucia: Cindy Barshop faking an orgasm.

Olivia: Cindy Barshop fakes an orgasm on Facebook Live.

Dr. Delucia: I suck at that.

Cindy Barshop: Come on, come on. Imagine you're fucking some [inaudible 00:13:36].

Olivia: Alright, alright. It's the shot, it's the shot. We're getting [crosstalk 00:13:42].

Cindy Barshop: [crosstalk 00:13:43] in this?

Olivia: Yeah, we do it all the time.

Cindy Barshop: Okay.

Olivia: True or false ... Oh, actually we already did that. True or false, woman on top is the best way to orgasm.

Dr. Delucia: Yes, it is.

Cindy Barshop: Really?

Olivia: Yes.

Dr. Delucia: Yes.

Olivia: Okay.

Dr. Delucia: Yeah, because we're in control. We can control the depth of penetration, plus the amount of friction necessary. That's why.

Cindy Barshop: Really?

Dr. Delucia: Absolutely.

Olivia: Everyone out there, ladies, let's try living on top tonight, huh?

Dr. Delucia: If you haven't tried it, it's liberating.

Olivia: Okay, this is true or false and I hate this kind of stereotype. If her vagina is loose, she's been around the block.

Cindy Barshop: False.

Dr. Delucia: Absolutely false. Absolutely false. No. There is no correlation and there's no way to tell. Looseness. Matter of fact, a woman who's truly aroused will be pretty loose. That just means maybe he's doing his job.

Olivia: Good job dudes, but don't judge her if it's loose.

Dr. Delucia: Exactly, exactly.

Olivia: Just take pride, take pride.

Dr. Delucia: Enjoy it, enjoy it. Exactly.

Olivia: Okay, last true or false. Your vagina looks the same for your whole life.

Dr. Delucia: Absolutely false.

Cindy Barshop: False.

Olivia: False.

Dr. Delucia: False.

Cindy Barshop: Sorry.

Dr. Delucia: We go through changes. Does our face look the same throughout our entire life?

Olivia: Certainly not.

Dr. Delucia: Therefore, it helps ... And do men's genitalia look the same their whole life?

Olivia: No.

Cindy Barshop: No.

Dr. Delucia: Neither does [crosstalk 00:14:58].

Cindy Barshop: But we can make it look pretty without surgery.

Dr. Delucia: Absolutely, we can-

Cindy Barshop: [crosstalk 00:15:01] the surgery.

Dr. Delucia: Yeah.

Olivia: Okay, this is a question for you. You don't have to answer. Will you be showing up on the Real Housewives of New York.

Cindy Barshop: I don't know.

Dr. Delucia: She doesn't know.

Cindy Barshop: You mean this year?

Olivia: Whenever.

Cindy Barshop: I think I'm on it next week.

Olivia: Okay, well everyone [inaudible 00:15:17].

Cindy Barshop: [inaudible 00:15:19].

Olivia: I was a big fan and then I met her and I was like, "You're the coolest human being alive." Is there anything I forgot about VSPOT?

Cindy Barshop: No, I think she covered it. I love you. I think you're awesome.

Olivia: I love you guys.

Cindy Barshop: I think you're fun.

Olivia: I love vaginas.

Dr. Delucia: I think [crosstalk 00:15:34].

Olivia: I think we should do-

Cindy Barshop: Wait a minute, you love vaginas and-

Olivia: I mean-

Cindy Barshop: Lets clarify the line vagina.

Olivia: I love the fact that we are empowering women to love their vaginas.

Dr. Delucia: Yes!

Olivia: That was what I meant to say.

Dr. Delucia: I think that's wonderful.

Olivia: We're going to put the link to your website and the phone number in the comments section. Ladies, if you are too shy to comment or whatever, this is in New York City where?

Cindy Barshop: Call and we can answer all your questions. Honestly, this should feel good and comfortable.

Olivia: Yeah.

Cindy Barshop: I would pretty much answer the phone 50% of the time, so you could get me and we'll talk about it.

Olivia: Maybe I'll be here getting something else.

Cindy Barshop: We're always together.

Olivia: Because I love coming to you.

Cindy Barshop: We've become BFFs.

Olivia: Yeah. Oh my gosh, I got my O Shot today and it was the best experience, pain free, and amazing. Loved it and I can't wait to have some orgasms while I'm eating cookies today because it might happen. [inaudible 00:16:30] have an orgasm today.

Dr. Delucia: Cookie day?

Olivia: Today, I might. Go follow on Snapchat @distractify because I'm going to be live snapping the Drake and Future concert. We'll be back tomorrow at 2:30-

“Don’t do it to Single People…”

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Transcript

Speaker 1: Don't do it to single people unless they're sexually active, because it is ... Holy mackerel.

Speaker 2: Well, tell me what you're feeling. Because you only had it done a few days ago.

Speaker 1: I felt, immediately, well, not immediately, not a day but maybe the next day, very ... I feel like I can't touch myself. I'm so sweaty [inaudible 00:00:21] but ...

Speaker 2: Okay. What do you ...

Speaker 1: Just very, very, highly sexual. So it seems like a great thing. Here I am, my age, and I just feel good that ...

Speaker 2: How old are you again?

Speaker 1: 66.

Speaker 2: Okay.

RESULTS WILL VARY<--

Speaker 1: And, gosh, it really ... I'd rather not explain it. But I will never do this again until I get married, because it's a little bit hard to concentrate sometimes.

Speaker 2: Okay.

Speaker 1: I'm telling you. It's amazing. So, it works.

Speaker 2: All right. Well, I hope that's not causing you too much trouble.

Speaker 1: I'm just like, "Oh, my gosh."

And my girlfriend goes, "Why did you do it?" Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: But did it help with ...

Speaker 1: Oh.

Speaker 2: Well, I guess it's kind of too early to tell, for the incontinence.

Speaker 1: Well, yeah. I still have that urgency to go to the bathroom. I still wake up and have to go to the bathroom. And the other one, Thermi-Va, helped with that really good.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker 1: But I was in a relationship then, and it didn't really do what this does sexually. I think I could brush up against something, it just really works, it works, sexually it works. So, just to let you know. I feel embarrassed, but it really works.

Speaker 2: Thank you.


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